Mama is napping, and she left her computer on. It’s my turn to be the writer in the family.
Let me introduce myself.
I am Brillo Bethany Barbara Brown-Hamilton.
I am Mama’s beloved cat and writing assistant.
Every writer needs a cat writing assistant, and here’s why.
1. A cat is the most reliable alarm clock. I make sure that Mama gets up every morning, on time, to stick to her writing schedule. She doesn’t have to worry about a power outage. Electricity or not, I am on the job at the first rumble of my belly. I start with a soft meow or two, usually around 4 am. Now, Mama likes to sleep, so this rarely works. The meows get much louder as 5 am approaches, followed by insistent head bonks and paw whacks. I channel my inner mountain goat and jump and climb on her. By now she’s awake, and I can taste my Fancy Feast. On the off-chance that she just glares at me and rolls over and goes back to sleep, I pull out the big guns: I start knocking things off the bedside table. Nothing gets her out of bed faster than the sound of the lamp hitting the floor. It’s hysterical when Mama steps on the remote control and turns on the TV. The news announcer’s voice suddenly booming in the room scares her silly. Mama is bug-eyed awake at this point, and my job is done. I enjoy my breakfast and settle in for my first cat nap of the day. And it’s barely 6 am!
2. You don’t need to buy a paper shredder if you own a cat. I make sure that no important information falls into thewrong hands. Bank statements, letters from friends with their new email address, Mama’s famous to do lists – they all taste the same to me. I’ve even tore up Mama’s 2017 Writing Goals. I didn’t want her to be disappointed in caseshe hadn’t done anything all year. You may be wondering how I know that I’ve shredded the important stuff. Well, when Mama jumps up and starts screaming, “ BRILLO!! What have you done?” I know my work is complete. I grab my catnip mousie and run to my favorite hiding place to rest up.
3. Cats forever banish writer’s block. As soon as I see Mama staring blankly at the computer screen, I jump into action. I love attacking Mama’s mooses . Especially the big ones that topple over. I then entertain Mama with a moose-cat wrestling match. (BTW, the mooses are wusses and always cry for Mama to rescue them.) But my favorite way to distract Mama and get her creative juices flowing is to play Kitty Poke’m with the basket on the coffee table. Mama puts coasters, remote controls, pens, and other stuff in it. I like to see how many paw pokes it takes for me to knock it onto the floor. I’m down to four!
4. Cats make wonderful personal trainers. Mama sits at the computer a lot as a writer, so I make sure she gets plenty of exercise. I jump up on top of the kitchen cabinets whenever I can. I am afraid of heights, so Mama must climb up on a step stool to get me down. That’s a good workout for her legs and arms. I keep her flexible too. She does a lot of bending up and down to pick up all those little pieces of shredded paper. I play hide and seek with her a lot. I’ll meow pitifully so she comes looking for me. She gets in lots of extra steps trying to find my secret hiding places. I always win this game!
5. Cat owners don’t worry about stress. I can always tell when Mama is upset. I just crawl into her lap and purr and give her kitty kisses until she feels better. Snuggling is the best part of being Mama’s writing assistant.
OH, Mama’s up. I must hit the publish button fast!
Thanks for reading with me on the
sunny side catnip side of life.